Thursday, August 6, 2015

Happy Birthday Momma

Raise your glasses, to the greatest woman in my life.
Nineteen years ago, I chose her. I chose her because of the way her sandy brown hair gleamed and blew, while driving fast in an old jeep. I chose her because I knew the way she would look at me, with those emerald eyes. I chose her smile, her laugh, her cry, her heartbeat. I chose her because of her patience and beautiful soul. I chose her because I knew, when I grew up, she’d be the kind of woman I wanted to be.
She deserves your loudest applause.
There is no time in my life when I can remember her not trying her best. She is constantly doing her best; her best at being a mother, her best at being a sister, being a daughter, an aunt, a friend, a wife. Yes, she has made mistakes--forgetting to put a game jersey in the dryer; not calling back; burning dinner… but there isn’t a year that goes by, that she’s not getting better at being the best.
I apologize, to her, and all the other mothers out in the world, for not always giving you the attention that is due. I am sorry for all the tears I’ve ever brought to your perfect eyes and I am sorry for all the times, and times to come, that I will not take your advice.
If I had one wish, it would be to spin back time and spend so much more of it with you.
Choosing you is one of my best, if not the best, decisions of my life.
I thank God everyday for you and I catch myself begging for a million more.
I am proud to be yours.
I love you Momma.
Happy Birthday.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

August 1st

I have decided to value myself over anyone else.
I have decided to treat myself the way I have treated others.
I have decided to let go of the people who only bring bad vibes into my life.
I have decided to remind myself I deserve the best and I deserve to be happy.

With these decisions, that are almost twenty one years late, I will now live my life to the highest capacity. I will not degrade myself with ungrateful thoughts; unnecessary ideas of limitations; and/or complex and undesired relationships.

So long to the days when I used to stress over being the best. Fuck you, all of you, who thought I wasn't the best. I was fucking good at being the best.
I stood up for you- even when you lacked the strength to do so for me.
I called out for you- even when you couldn't find the time to look for me.
I took care of you- even when you were unbearable and mean and especially selfish.
I would have done it all for you- even when you only found the pleasure of being with me, while it was only useful for you.

I have finally decided, that this is going to be the best decision of my life.

Goodbye,
 The Best.

P.S. If you have been offended by this short, but true decision of mine, I am not sorry. And this is me, breaking up with you.